COUNTRY BOYS: Putting You On Notice
[originally published December 14, 2013]
And by country boys, I mean in particular male country music singers. Guys: WTF???!!!!
You know you hated it when you used to hear (and sometimes still do!) that country music was all about trains and prison and momma and a hound dog. That was bullshit, and anybody who actually listened to country music knew the amazing breadth and musicality that it encompassed, back when.
And sometimes, still does. But boys, you’ve been running a tired old play and I for one am getting a little sick of it. And how I go, the nation eventually goes. So let’s have a talk before you embarrass yourselves.
Here’s the math: CountryBoyPop Music now seems to be synonymous with a handful of rinse-and-repeat elements, and they are 1. Truck 2. Girl in truck, always known as Girl and not by an actual name 3. Alcohol, for Girl to drink, before the hooking up starts 4. Back road 5. River 6. Bikini on branch…and 7. So that everyone knows you’re a good guy, a reference to Jesus.
Add to that my least favorite: REPEATED REFERENCES TO DRINKING WHILE DRIVING. For Jesus’ sake (and I say that because I honestly don’t think Jesus would approve of you drinking and driving or encouraging young women to drink to increase your chances of sex with them), you’re huge role models to young men and women. So okay, guys. You’ve had your fun. But this has to stop.
Please tell me that there’s something in those pretty little heads of yours? An actual thought, an idea that you can express musically. A question about life? An observation of human nature, or about society? A gentle joke? Brad Paisley can’t be the only brilliant one, to write songs that are actually about something. In your shared genre, he encourages his fans to leave racism behind, to leave parochialism behind and take a broader world view, and then he turns around and sings a funny fishing song. I love his work.
Your music, on the other hand…well, it’s like a diet of cotton candy. Fun at first, but one soon longs for something of substance.
Man does not live by work alone, and all work and no play makes one miserable…but please sing something that makes me believe you’re a man and not a fifteen-year-old boy, okay?
Sincerely, and with great affection,
Katie
Ps: I know damned right that you’ve all sung other songs that have deeper meaning…but there have been a huge rash of GetYerShineOnGoodStuffUnderTheSeatGirlDon’tSpillADrop lyrics. And while they’ve sold a ton of CDs and made you beaucoup money…you’re better than that.
Please keep country music meaning something? Okay? Please enrich the tradition and don’t sell it out? And the next time you’re tempted to write lyrics including the words ‘painted-on jeans’, call Kacey Musgraves. She’ll point ya’ back to the right road.